The 'M' word

Weddings on the brain!!!
Recently I can admit to spending a lot of time looking at wedding stuff...its actually quite fun. before I use to do this as, I don't know, one of those things that I think girls do when they bored or having one of there 'moments' but this time its different. Its different because there's a bit more purpose in it mostly because there is more of a possibility of this 'looking' being useful now than it was back then. It's different because it's more of a research project rather than wishful thinking. Its's different because I might actually be getting married...I say might not because there's anything wrong with my relationship like I feel like it will all of a sudden break down, but I say might because I ain't God...I can't see the end from the beginning...I can't see my future I can only work on what I know of my present and hope and pray for the future.

Is it odd?
I was wondering if all this should feel strange to me...I think it wants to but it doesn't. Why is that? Is it confidence or crazy? Either way this is the closest to 'marriage' I've ever been so I guess I'll run with this lol...It's early days yet. I'm not even a fiancée but somehow I feel like there is no harm in having a look, or is there?

How it all began...sorta!
It's funny because this all started almost like a joke. Well wanting to get married to Sid isn't the joke bit. I think we established that pretty early on in the relationship like for real, why give up on a good thing right? But the joke was in the date. I cant even remember how the conversation came up and how we both started looking at wedding stuff but I went to do some research and so joined one of those wedding site thingys and it asked for a date so I made one up and told Sid and he kinda agreed...and I guess it started from there really lol! Oh the fun we two have lol!!

But yeh that date was like 3 years away, cant remember it now because believe it or not the date has changed...its moved forward (hmmm having a date but not engaged...sounds very odd when you blog about it lol) but even that is not confirmed yet because basically boo has to run this idea by my potential mother-in-law but the M word (marriage) is not to be mentioned until we've been together for at least a year (which I understand, agree and respect) so even with all that in mind the date really isn't fix. But I do like the new date.

It's beautiful really
Our relationship has really grown and developed. I don't think people would believe we haven't been together for even a year yet but sometimes you just know that you want to be with someone and you don't see why it wouldn't work and when you have the right formula of prayer, personal study, always looking to God for direction and looking out for the other persons well being especially spiritually...really there is no reason the relationship should break down unless the formula is not being applied properly so this is why Sid and I have confidence in our relationship. To some this idea is far-fetched but really it's quite simple and well I ain't complaining but by golly it does take work.

But anyway, I quite like the wedding stuff and even better that its not like a secret undercover hobby that you'd be embarrassed if someone caught you looking at it...quick minimise lol... but instead boo's doing his own research too...shoot the idea to have a folder dedicated to wedding stuff I got from him...never thought that day would come when a guy is just as interested in wedding stuff as the girl...well there you have it.

Well only time will tell...I'm not in a hurry...I like what we have....but realising each day how much I'd love to be married to him too :)

That awkward moment when...

you awaiting a reply and silent cussing in your head as to what's taking them so long only to realise you didn't press send!

Lol

random I know.

But that's how my brain is sometimes like this blog right now is me typing on auto pilot not exactly 100% sure what I'm on about but that soon it'll be on the www lol

But anyway just to share what's on my mind....

I am a happy bunny. I have a day off. I can relax. I will be seeing my booboo later but I am still like uber grinning out Sabbath just gone.

Sabbath 4th August was the SEC day of fellowship and I am so glad I went. The praise and worship was beautiful. The sermon was on point....like for real what you do today you can be reaping the consequences well into your years and I know I can testify to that that's why I need to be making all my decisions with the guidance of God because I don't want to miss on on heaven because I'm too hung up on doing my own thing....I digress

But yeah was blessed. Then the concert in the afternoon ....WOOOIII!!!

The Lord has indeed poured out an abundance of blessings upon the adventist youth. There was so crazy talent doing original spoken word and songs with the sweetest harmonies. And man there's some ppl who can really saaang and the beauty of it is that they are doing it for Jesus.

And one thing I'm still reeling off is how well received I was when I was able to minister my own pieces.
I was dead nervous and kept praying and asking for prayer. But when it came down to it God was indeed with me. Though my mouth dried up and I almost forgot a chord, when the band came in and joined in with my song that was it I was finished...the nerves went and I enjoyed the joint praise. It was an amazing feeling hearing my song like that. I was like 'oh my systems!! they're playing my song' lol Seriously was amazing!

So now I'm even more happy to have been given something I can share with more than just my four walls and I pray I will continue to use what God has given me to His honour and glory.

Woo!!

Reflections of a not so distant past

I decided to create a second blog to cover all the random happenings of my life. I realise the flow of my other blog was more centred on my project wifey body and I kinda wanted to keep it that way so now I have this blog to just open up and say what's going on in the mind of me. Now i was meaning to do this blog for a long time so I guess I have a lot of catching up to do but instead of making this epically long I will comment briefly on a few things that's happened in my not so distant past that's left an significant impression on my mind.

Spain 3-7th July 2012

Was awesome. The beginning and the end could have been better though. I got to see a different side of Sid (sick Sid) and man i realised that I'm patient to a point, care to a point, and really could have gone to prison the day I experience sick Sid...I can laugh about it now and so can he especially given the fact that i let him live lol.
But yeah Spain was so needed. Was nice to have a change of scenario and try and get by speaking English in a Spanish speaking country lol tres fun...and the weather was beautiful. Defo looking forward to another holiday with the boo. Cant see me holidaying without him now if I'm honest.

10 days no boo.

The longest booless time ever...it was ridiculous. I don't think I've ever missed him that much before and he was still in the country just a lil further than usual. it was so bad i even considered trekking up to see him...thing is from the looks of my schedule and his we wouldn't see each other for a very long time like longer than 10 days and that was epically long... exaggeration? I think not!! but we got to see each other on one of my days off the day he was returning from Stevenage and you know what it was beautiful...we did as we do usually from BBC iplayer to pizza to play fight to just chatting about life and marriage and stuff but somehow i left feeling much closer to him....

The great incident

This day felt so long yet in reality wasn't and to be honest i don't even like talking about it because the events of that day really brings some serious downer vibes but all i know is that I do not ever wanna feel like I've lost my boo or driven him away ever again...episodes of falling out really can either make you closer or further a part but i think we are putting in a unified effort to grow from whats happened and be closer and stronger than before with God as our strength...these things happen when you look to self and not to God...you act on impulse...you don't consider others....you think about yourself and don't think through the consequences of your words or actions and in the end you can end up with immense heartache....BUT....I can say our love with tried and tested and it passed....so I got a lot to be thankful for, a lot to learn from and a lot to change...very grateful to those who were praying for me too...

Today....25th July 2012

Jamming poetry and guitar with a cool friend who'll be leaving to go back home to Bots :(. Makes me realised i have some cool friends.
Whipped up some serious tasting grub in the kitchen for my other friend and her lil princess and by George it was nice :) Mac n Cheese corn on the cob and some jerk chicken...yes!!  on a Wednesday. Sunday grub on a Wednesday??!! no laws against that :)
And of course chatting to the boo throughout the day...he's getting loads of brownie points he can redeem when married for all the research he's doing ;) tho was tempted to minus 10 for also being Mr cryptic lol
oh well lol

So yeah i think that's it all in all I'm blessed. God is indeed awesome because He is God....but the fact that He considers me and my little life makes me feel significant :)